Insert Life Here (Updated)
The --- following the smile
the --- following the woman
the --- following the gentleman
the --- following the assets
the --- following the work
the --- following the eager
the --- following the potential
the --- following the child
the --- following the marriage
the --- following the kiss
the --- following the determination
The --- following the smile
life (Original)
The --- following the smile
the --- following the woman
the --- following the gentleman
the --- following the assets
the --- following the work
the --- following the eager
the --- following the potential
the --- following the child
the --- following the marriage
the --- following the kiss
the --- following the determination
The --- following the smile
This poem has a very interesting format! It really encompasses many aspects of life. I liked how you incorporated specific people in one’s life as well as feelings actions and and even materialistic things (assets). I am curious though, is the word life supposed to be replaced by the dash? Very creative!
ReplyDeleteHi!! I feel like you have created such a distinct style throughout this class!! Every poem of yours has an original format and pushes the reader to think in a different way, and I just wanted to commend you on being so consistent. This poem is no exception, the dash in every line allowing the reader to fill in their own words and personal experiences. I think you could improve this poem by changing some of the less powerful end words- for example, the word "determination" seemed a little bit generalized and not as impactful. Some of the more effective words are the ones that hint to personalized experiences, such as "kiss," "smile", and "gentleman." Nice poem!!
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